Texting and A Sore Tailed Cat

The other night I was preparing dinner for a few friends and had waited till the last minute to get things started. With less than an hour before my dinner guest were to arrive I started franticly chopping vegetables, boiling water, rinsing chicken, chilling wine, preparing the grill, all while trying to select the perfect dinner music, answer the phone, put groceries away, unpack the dessert and set the table. With these ten things going on and juggling the mental stimulation that goes along with it, my Siamese cat Jasper wanted attention as he chattered and twined about my feet. Then by accident I stepped on Jasper’s tail. What happened next is not so clear, but with the screeching shrill of a cat in pain as all four paws started churning like circular saws to get out of the way the next thing I knew my vegetables lay on the floor amongst a broken bottle of wine.

We all have had the feeling of uneasiness when we’ve glanced in our rear view mirror during rush hour and notice the woman behind us applying her eye liner, or the man who is texting as he drifts into our lane. Astronauts and fighter pilots have been trained to multi task while operating large heavy potentially lethal vehicles. But, how many of us take the task of driving as seriously as astronauts and pilots? Our world has become busy and complex as we try to make the most out of every minute of our day. It doesn’t matter if you are a high powered business executive, county librarian, stay at home mom, the star quarterback of a high school football team, or a healthcare provider. Our lives are busy making multi-tasking while driving seem only natural. However, multi-tasking all too often involves eating lunch, returning phone calls, adjusting the GPS, making music selections, all while reading and sending emails and text messages while driving.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that 80% of automobile crashes involve some form of driver distraction. For this reason the National Safety Council has called for a nationwide ban on cell phone use while driving. Unquestionably, driving without distractions and paying close attention to the road and the task of driving safely would save lives and reduce non-fatal injuries. According to the Fatality Analysis Reporting System in 2008 there were 37,261 automobile related fatalities. Imagine 80% of these deaths could have been prevented by concentrating on driving and a little less attention to our music selections, phone calls and text messaging.

As a nurse I have seen firsthand the tragedy automobile accidents can bring. There is no phone call or text message as important as life or limb. We are all busy and as life takes its twist and turns we realize that sometimes our carelessness has life altering consequences far worse than a sore tailed cat and a bottle of wine. Remember, the most important job you have as a motorist is to watch the road and focus on driving safely. Driving is more than hands on- driving is mind on!

Howard Baker, RN BSN

For questions, comments, or suggestions on topics you want to read about please email me at: howard@howardsbaker.com

Myths About Bullies

With school getting underway for most students safety comes to the forefront of parent’s minds. There are school zones, cross walks, backpacks, long walks home and for some- home alone till parents return from work. But, what about the bully on the bus or who shares a locker next to your child? Not only can Bullies pose physical pain but they can also cause psychological pain and suffering too.
Bullies come in many different shapes and sizes both male and female and of all ages. For some bullying is never out grown. Bullying is not a normal rite of passage or a part of growing up. Bullying is cruel, usually harassing someone by physical or emotional intimidation and if ignored can have serious consequences. It seems like bullying not only takes place at our schools and playgrounds it now takes place online. It is estimated that one out of four kids are bullied and over 40% of kids are cyberbullied.
There was an Andy Griffith episode that came to mind about bullying when I started doing my research for the column. I searched youtube.com for the episode and I realized what Andy Taylor told Opie still holds true today. According to the experts you should encourage your child to share their concerns. As parents it is important to remain calm and learn as much about the situation as possible. Ask open ended questions that encourage your child to describe how and when the bullying occurs and who is involved. Do not promote retaliation or fighting with a bully, instead encourage your child to remain calm keeping composure and walk away.
Researchers at The University of Arizona examined various myths associated with bullying. The following are ten of those myths.
• Boys will be boys. Research shows that bulling is seldom outgrown, it is simply redirected. About 60% of boys identified as bullies in middle school commit at least one crime by age 24.
• Kids can be cruel about differences. Research shows physical differences play only a very small role in bullying situations. Most victims are chosen because they are sensitive, anxious, and unable to retaliate.
• Bullies are looking for attention. Ignore them and the bullying will stop. Research has shown bullies are looking for control and they rarely stop if their behavior is ignored. Bullying usually increases if the bullying is not addressed by an adult.
• Bullying doesn’t happen at my child’s school. Bullying is more common at some schools than others; however studies show about 25% of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency.
• Children who are bullied will always tell an adult. Most studies find only 25 to 50% of bullied children report it to an adult.
• Most children who observe bullying don’t want to get involved. The good news is most children think bulling is “not cool” and feel they should do something if they see it happen.
• Bullies suffer from insecurity and low self-esteem. Studies indicate most bullies have average or above-average self-esteem. They “suffer” from aggressive temperaments, a lack of empathy and poor parenting.
• Bullying affects only a small number of students. The national Association of School Psychologist estimates that 160,000 children stay home from school every day because they are afraid of being bullied.
• Teachers know if bullying is a problem in their classes. Bullying behavior usually takes place unbeknownst to the teacher. Most victims are reluctant to report the bullying for fear of embarrassment or retaliation; most bullies deny or justify their behavior.
• Bullying isn’t serious, its kids being kids. Bullying can be extremely serious. Bullying can affect the mental well being, academic work, and physical health of children who are targeted. Children who are bullied are more likely than other children to have lower self-esteem, higher rates of depression, loneliness, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
As you send your children out into the world teach them to be safe, but also teach them that bullying is not acceptable. I noticed in the Andy Griffith Show that Andy and Opie spent time talking to each other. We need to find common ground in conversation with our children, not just about bullying but about life in general. These conversations build trust and a foundation for life’s problems but, most importantly they build memories that will last a lifetime.

Howard Baker, RN BSN

For questions, comments, or suggestions on topics you want to read about please email me at: howard@howardsbaker.com

Weighing in On Back-To-School

Every year with all the hustle and bustle of back to school I find it entertaining to watch parents and their first graders gathering school supplies as I listen to the chatter of their little minds racing with anticipation. I am often amazed at the conversations these little people come up with as to why they need this color of note book or these pencils, markers or colors. These precious moments are relished by some parents and lost by others as they miss out on these never to be seen or heard again conversations. I noticed a father down on his knee questioning his little girl about her thoughts as he relished her reply. In contrast I noticed a mother who was chattering on her cell phone. She was oblivious to the concerns and fears of her little boy as he struggled to make hurried life or death decisions, about pencils, markers and notebooks.
My first day of school in first grade was a rainy one and I was scared out of my mind. I remember as my dad pulled into West End Elementary there were buses and children in single file, cars in front and cars behind and my heart beating faster than the windshield wipers. The fear of what to do but knowing that I was not going to get out of the safety of that car. In the blink of an eye as my dad said “well here you are son”, I said “daddy if you will get out and open my door I will go in.” My dad without thinking jumped out into the rain and as soon as the door slammed shut I locked my door then his. I still vividly remember the site of my dad standing in the torrential rain with my first grade teacher, cars backing up into the street and the car filling up with crocodile tears as I cried inside.
Back to school is always a stressful time for both the parent and the student especially during these hard economic times. Backpacks, school supplies, shoes and clothes are a never ending budget crisis as function collides with style and the latest trends. It is easy during all these budget negotiations with your child to lose sight of the important issue of personal safety.
Like most students I carry a backpack and a computer everywhere I go. This seemingly simple task of packing and carrying a backpack isn’t so simple and it can cause fatigue and strains on young and old alike. Carrying too much weight on our backs and shoulders can cause strains to muscles and can even cause spinal injuries. As a good rule of thumb kids should not carry more than 10 to 15 percent of total body weight over the shoulder and back. So if your child weighs 100 pounds the backpack should not weigh more than 15 pounds and that’s not a lot when you consider books, paper and other school supplies. Here are few tips to help lighten your child’s back to school load:
• Help your child sort through the things they will need that day leaving things at home that will not be used that day
• Place heaviest items in the backpack first; the closer heavier items are to the body the less strain on the muscles and spine.
• Select an appropriate size backpack with padded straps for comfort.
• The in thing may be to carry the backpack over one shoulder. Encourage your child to carry the backpack over both shoulders for better weight distribution.
• Encourage proper body mechanics and bend with their knees first when lifting their packs.

Remember, this is a special time in your family’s life and the memories you build here will last for generations to come. From personal experience, I strongly recommend not leaving your engine running and a scared child within reach of the door locks.

Howard Baker, RN BSN

For questions, comments, or suggestions on topics you want to read about please email me at: howard@howardsbaker.com